Lordi - Sheffield Academy - 16th February 2009
Support: Fatal Smile

Opening act Fatal Smile certainly look the part, with an image and performance that borrows heavily from Motley Crue. It means that they’re entertaining to watch, even if you’re completely new to the band. Fatal Smile clearly have plenty of friends here tonight, with the audience roaring along to the majority of the band’s sleazy, glammed-up rock songs. Their hairspray-loving cock-rock may not be ‘on-trend’ but, if tonight’s crowd reaction is anything to go by, Fatal Smile may just be ones to watch out for.

As Finnish monster band Lordi take to the stage, the aircraft hanger that is the Sheffield Academy is depressingly empty. Anyone lingering at the back who’s suddenly seized by the desire to get up close and personal with the Fins, is easily able to thread their way to within two foot of the barricades. Following their Eurovision victory, Lordi sold out the 1500 capacity Manchester Academy. Tonight, there can’t be more than two hundred hardcore fans huddled down the front. It’s something of an inevitability that their popularity would plummet after Eurovision curiosity wore off but, if Lordi are disheartened by tonight’s turn-out, then they don’t show it.

Tonight’s show is visually spectacular, packed to the brim with silly, circus-of-horror theatrics, the set list is spot on, and Lordi put all other bands to shame by treating their fans to one hour and forty minutes of wonderfully self-indulgent, horror-worshiping nonsense. Set-opener ‘Girls Go Chopping’ passes by in a blur, as initially it’s difficult to get past the visual feast we’re confronted with. The band’s suits are Hollywood-worthy. Unlike fellow masked rockers Slipknot, Lordi’s outfits look even more convincing in the live environment.
Added to the jar-droppingly awesome outfits, is a set that is every horror movie cliché rolled into one. There’s body parts swinging from the rafters; an autopsy table with a partially dissected corpse splattered across it; and blood-stained tiles. The moment the house lights go up to reveal the five monsters and their gory surroundings, the Sheffield Academy becomes a living, breathing horror show.

But things only get stranger. In-between songs, Lordi perform short skits. One minute they’re leading a loping, Frankenstein’s-monster style puppet/robot onstage; the next minute, frontman Mr Lordi is slow-dancing with a life-size monster femme fatal, before keyboardist Awa creeps up behind them and runs the puppet through with what honestly looks like a light saber. And that’s all in the first fifteen minutes. The skits become more and more outlandish as the show progresses. A Samurai-inspired monster is decapitated onstage and the head stuck on a spike, where it remains for the rest of the show. Guitarist Amen comes onstage dressed as an Egyptian and writes some notes - presumably on the audience, if his frequent glances our way are anything to go by - in a giant, olde-worlde tome. And then, just when you think things can’t get anymore outlandish, the frontman appears brandishing a chainsaw. A chainsaw that sprays blood. Lots of blood. The first four rows now thoroughly drenched, crowd consensus is that tonight’s theatrics must surely have reached their climax. Not so, as a snow-machine roars to life and gives the front rows another dousing. Then, red ticker tape explodes from cannons on either side of the stage.

Lordi’s showmanship is second to none, and the mind-boggling lengths they go to in order to ensure everyone’s kept entertained, would put many an arena-touring band to shame. It’s naff, cheesy, self-indulgent and gimmicky, but it’s also ridiculously good fun. But, all of Lordi’s perfectly-executed skits would be laughable, if they didn’t have the songs to back them up. Thankfully, they have them in abundance, with old favourites ‘Would You Love A Monsterman?’ and ‘Blood Red Sandman’ igniting audience hysteria, and material off their new album also going down a storm. The laugh-out-loud silliness of ‘Who’s Your Daddy?’ and the riotous sing along of ‘Man Skin Boots’ were custom made for the live environment, as every last audience member sings, dances, and generally grins like they’re having the time of their lives.

Of course, the biggest cheer of the night is reserved for ‘Hard Rock Hallelujah,’ the song that catapulted them to Eurovision victory. In typical Lordi fashion, they take the blindingly obvious route and hold this song back for the encore. After almost two hours of monster mayhem, ‘Hard Rock Hallelujah’ goes off like the reliable, utterly predictable bomb it is, as fists are pumped in the air and the audience chant along with single-minded determination.

It’s the perfect, over-the-top end to a perfect, over-the-top night. Lordi have the same appeal as a cheesy horror movie: they aren’t in any way cool or clever, but sometimes, you just want good, dumb fun. And, if Lordi put on this sort of show for two hundred people, you have to wonder just what lengths they’d go to with a bigger budget at their disposal.


Review by Jessica Thornsby


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